Iconoclasm II or Lionel says Shalom to Haifa

Lionel is very cross. The number of magpies has increased dramatically and the flat has resounded to the sound of me saying “hello mags” and Lionel “Hmmph-ing”. I’m not superstitious, you understand. I’m just playing the averages. And football has dominated, now the 6 nations is over.

England winning the world cup was the worst thing to happen to English football

A supremely dull and uninspired team eventually triumphed in their home country. None of the players in the final XI played in another country and if you were compiling a team of the 60’s only one, maybe two players might, might get a look-in. Don’t believe me ? Try and sit through the replay of the final. The most gifted English player of his generation, probably most generations, didn’t get a look in. Jimmy Greaves sat out the bulk of the tournament, sacrificed in favour of huffers and puffers. The truth is unpalatable. England only beat Portugal because Nobby Stiles fouled Eusebio out of the game. It needed extra time and a favourable decision from a linesman to beat a mediocre Germany team. Alcoholism and injury had robbed Brazil of Garrincha and injury  robbed them of Pele. There was no-one of significance to beat, and they made heavy work of it. And thereafter the dominant theme of English football has been workrate. Identikit athletes who are mediocre footballers. If Xavi, Iniesta and Messi were English, they’d have been discarded at age 14 as too small.

Maradona does not belong in a list of all time great players

His cocaine addiction started around 1983, and was at it’s height during his spell at Napoli. So we are asked to believe that at 2 successive world cups he never once took a drugs test. Or we are asked to believe that he did and was so committed to his profession that he was clean and had been for at least 6 weeks prior to either tournament. Or maybe he did take a test, failed and FIFA covered it up. Nah, they’d never do that. And I have no knowledge of this. Nah. No sirree, no way Jose. Don’t ask me cos I ain’t saying nothing. No spikka de Inglezzi.

Lionel needs to go out. I have to go and stand by an open door while he decides if he needs to go out right now, or if he can make do with looking out of an open door held open by an obedient hooman.