So I have the basic structure and poetic diction. I ditched a meter for the moment to literally go with the flow. It needs editing and refining. Which will be 3,4 and 5 unless there’s an epiphany. I read a scholarly article once about how the missing years of the life of Jesus Christ may have been in India. There are traces in the gospels of Eastern teachings and several archeological references in India. I don’t know how strong that is now. But it is floating in my peripheral vision for this.
Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha’olam shehakol niyah bidvaro.
I say the ancient grace that you might share
food with me I cannot ask forgiveness
of the Lord until I have yours I spoke
in anger, pride, in vanity it was
your words not you I do not offer my
forgiveness because I do not judge
But there will come a day when the light creeps
under the blinds And illuminates your
soul, then you will have to forgive yourself
We learn of being human from birth, born blind
We can only see from nipple to our
mother’s face It is the voyage of our
lives to reach the shores Of shared duty and
empathy, compassion, justice, mercy
To see further than our selfish wants
And claim refuge from the wailing idols
behind the eyes, the dark where monsters lurk
You are young and free so many breaths still to draw
Take them on hillsides, take them looking out to sea
On a beach one hour before dawn with an arm around your shoulder
And a kiss still wet on your cheek
Take them in solitude with your whole self submerged in a book
take them between sips of coffee
As you look through candle flame at love
Don’t tell me you can know the earth from a screen
Until you have shivered on a street, burying yourself in your coat
Goose flesh because you know you will see that sweet face tomorrow
Or let tears fall freely to purge the poison of goodbye
Or feel the touch of a hand in yours fade until you only feel the cold
For me I am escaping a past of
treachery and lechery When the prohibitions
of Leviticus were the a la carte
You are a refugee from human compassion
You refuse to avail yourself of the protection
that being human affords.
You are alone in a foreign land
of cynicism and tweets and posts of apathy.
I can only wonder at the terrible journey
that has brought you to that hostile shore.
This is erev Yom Kippur, the eve of atonement,
mine and yours my lost brother
This is not theism or theology,
this is our shared evolutionary ancestry
Children of Abraham, Millat Ibrahim,
seeking our grace and redemption
By helping you and seeking your forgiveness
I learn humility
Do you want to discuss those fleeing persecution ?
Shall we start with Paul ?
Or Mohammed, peace be upon him
We are all refugees from something
You say you value learning, knowledge
then why dismiss something ?
We have read Tolkien but you don’t believe in Smeagol or Bilbo
But we believe in courage, loyalty and duty
And belief makes them real, they exist
Joy and hope and justice mercy compassion
Transubstantiated by our faith in what we do
A child opening a present or a new born lifted gently
To your face to welcome them to this world
And still you say you don’t believe that ? when it is right in front of you ?
You must still be on the nipple, not yet weaned
Yes children need to believe the stories and to have
Infallible parents to trust in, it is our frailty as human
It is how we grow and where we grow from
Sometimes children do not like to be called such
But this is not childlike, or simplistic this is
The geneology of ageless youth of the eternal soul
Which is why I choose not to believe
In evil, I will not make an excuse real
There is no evil there is absence of good
There is no darkness there is absence of light
Excess and deficit as in science
The lineage of blood libel and felt stars and race profile
The dark of human fear denied light but not evil
Because “evil” is to say “it was not us” but we owe the dead truth
That ordinary people did this for want of the light of goodness
This is the simple truth that wise men believe lies
Phrenology and eugenics and phlogiston
The aluminiferous ether which Newton and Nietsche knew
Was true but is wrong and does not exist
This is not about sealing words up in a book
Preaching from the dead, dry page
Like carnival sideshow carneys
This is preaching through the love of life as she is lived
As she is celebrated and adored and honoured
And life is a woman make no mistake
Though you may think you can seduce or deceive
With cleverness and confidence tricks
The only one seduced and deceived is yourself
She will turn, she will with calm method eviscerate
Your corporeal selfish sins and leave you humbled
Our reach exceeds our span and that is the glory of God
And the triumph of human will so in every single
Act of kindness from a stranger or smile shared or tear shed
God appears, made real it is there how do you not see ?
Call a mother’s love biological self interest if you must
But that is just the fear of engaging with sensation and
Limiting experience to the incantation of language
How the intellectual loves linguistic ritual and ceremony
I may not have known it myself but I have witnessed it
Have heard women talk about and display their love
I believe it and wish it had been mine sometimes
So by the laws of reason and rational thought you say;
In an entirety of universes, of untold galaxies
One star has, at just the right distance, at just the right time
And for reasons we don’t yet understand spawned life
Which has thrived and evolved over millennia until
A species of ape, whose hoots and hollers for where the food is
Has by degrees of sophistication, satisfied itself that
It’s panted squealing and grunting has within it
All the secrets of existence ? And you talk of far fetched ?
As a statistical likelihood it is at the absolute extreme
and yet I believe the science which tells me it’s true
Why do you doubt the joy of friendship is the hand of God
I am the scapegoat, driven from each situation with the sins of others as my burden
But I am not Holman Hunt’s wretched creature by the Dead Sea shore
I am ready to die but if I hear someone ask for help with their load
I will help because my duty and faith call me to make myself subject
And by doing I may teach and preach the love that we call God
I am a refugee from my childhood.
I have a well founded fear of persecution.
The problem is I don’t know where I am bound for,
or whether it will hear my plea
for asylum when I get there.
My whole life has been a journey
to find acceptance and a chance to contribute
something of consequence.
I’m not saying I haven’t been granted ‘leave to remain’ at times,
but that’s all it has ever been.
And now I wonder if I will ever be able
to recognise a chance for asylum if it appears.
I have had sorrow for a travelling companion for so long now
But When the cold nights coil around me like a serpent
I believe morning will come and light will flood the darkness
My hope is real because I believe
All I can do is trust in myself, that being me
will be enough and that through my humanity,
I will find a humane and compassionate place to be
and take refuge I have to find somewhere to belong.
Somewhere to be. It will be out of necessity
and it will happen because it has to happen.
Not because I spin a thousand words
into a dizzying shower of flaming amber,
leaving glowing embers for memories.
But because my scars tell a story
that proves worth hearing.
Told and heard, moment by moment.