Tonights Drafting Playlist

Hate working at home on a Sunday. But important is important.

Gotta Sin To Get Saved – Maria McKee

Time Has Told Me – Nick Drake

Persuasion – Richard Thompson

Dimming o’ the day – Alison Krauss

Stormy Monday – T Bone Walker

Fever – Little Willie John

Now or Never – Kendrick Lamarr (Featuring Mary J)

Dolphins – Tim Buckley

Mr. Siegel – Tom Waits

Parabol/Parabola – Tool  (Scary video warning)

My E-mail is inaccessible and Lionel is unimpressed

Bugger. You know, I am moved to ponder my objective words yesterday on hacking activity, and my problems accessing my e-mail today. A small seedy lion such as myself shouldn’t occupy anyone that much ? Or was it mention of the oddities of the GermanWings flight ? Or is my ISP prone to being sh*te ? I’ll just adjust my tin-foil hat and dismiss coincidence as sloppy physics and philosophy. So I presume someone is rummaging through my e-mails. But I can relax. It’s all on here. The reality of my persona. No smirk without fire. And Lionel is unimpressed with the fact that I say a lot of this out loud for his benefit. But he is a cat. And imaginary. But no less real. I mean, I’m finding it impossible to give him a worming tablet. So that is in fact exactly like a non-imaginary cat. And balls to “coating the pill in butter, wrap your cat in a towel and kiss goodbye to your dermis”. Cats hate pills and fascists. In that order.

Ooh, and BBC have changed the camera angle on their breakfast news to slightly above knee level. Hmmmmmmmmm…………………

Why I Don’t Like Thongs

Because I can’t thing a note.

Not hugely original. Though when I thought of it in context, it seemed very funny to me. There’s a lot of things I find funny. The main one is myself. And not in a Rupert Pupkin way. The difficuly is that most people don’t get the joke.

Politicians Say The Funniest Things

In the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack, and the publishing of the data of people signed up to the site, there have been some strange journalistic oversights.

Firstly, it is bizarre that print and broadcast media have not articulated with balance the reasoning behind the hack. The company responsible for the sites hacked charges to remove your data. Then they don’t remove it. Hence the hack. And among (you can start a sentence with a conjunction, I just did and no wormhole opened) the data published it was revelaed several civil servants who have used their official government e-mail addresses to sign up. I don’t know the names  but I can guess which projects they are directors of.

And an MP. A female MP whose claims that an out of use e-mail was “harvested”. Well that would be odd. Because it would have been harvested twice. Once to access the cheating site, and then by the hack, which was to demonstrate that the company don’t delete data. Details from an elected representative were not forthcoming as to what purpose this “harvesting” might have had. Especially if it was out of use. Of course it remains unchallenged by a compliant media. But I would be wary of this MP. If she’s right, she’s been hacked twice and is a jinx.

The hackers message posted with the list stated

“Find yourself in here? It was ALM that failed you and lied to you. Prosecute them and claim damages. Then move on with your life. Learn your lesson and make amends. Embarrassing now, but you’ll get over it.”

But then, the mainstream media continues to portray Anonymous, for example, as wearing V for Vendetta masks. They did. For a particular campaign. To protect themselves. A useful way to spot someone who is not with Anonymous, is if they are wearing a V for Vendetta mask. Not that that matters, but they should take a look at the Me-Tooists post on this blog.

I don’t idealise hackers. But they, like everyone else, deserve honest reporting. Strange how UK journalists are scrupulous about doubting the veracity of hacking groups, but give undue credence to an equally shadowy organisation as ‘The Taxpayers Alliance’.They refuse to disclose who funds them. Which is ‘dodgy’. They have no mandate, can’t organise a march worth shit but still get so much press traction, it’s almost like a coup has taken place in the broadcast media. I belong to a Trades Union. By our very nature, we are all taxpayers. We are an alliance. Our funding, our leaders and our actions are governed by statutes. And there are more members of my union than any single political party, never mind whoever Taxpayers Alliance has in its shadowy ranks. If numbers is all it is, everyone take a seat. Time for working people to say, “Excuse me but what about my friends ?”

And while I’m about it, stop saying “public sector”. What does this mean ? Crossing wardens ? Firemen ? or consultant radiographers ? Of such a crass generalisation is what passes for journalism these days, no wonder we are where we are. Probably why the French rushed to a press conference to state without any hint of investigation that “The co-pilot was mad. And he did it.” And no-one asked, for example, “Is it true that French manufactured Airbuses are made under licence in China ?” No inference should be drawn there, by the way. The Chinese have an exemplary record on health and safety. And human rights. Just a shame no-one has the cojones to say, publicly, “Would you, for the love of Jayheezeus stop killing endangered animals for ‘medicine’. It really fucking isn’t.”


And replied to my reply

But it isn’t worth reprinting. But it was from a general team. And to the effect of “thanks for your kind words, we will pass them to ******.”

I hope they do, unless ****** is a pseudonym. And they think my sincere, “Listen, I empathise with having to deal with people like me, cuz I have to” is clear evidence of a potential risk. No matter, I like the idea that reducing the horror and pain and mendacity in the general field of news to a string of collaged images is an act of sanity and the expression of a simple human sentiment is ‘crazy’.

Or perhaps tapenade is a media thing.

At the same time, Stephanie McGovern rose in my estimations this morning. Usually, her tenuous grip on what is fact and what is PR sets my teeth on edge and I remember the morning that she covered the recall of a number of cars due to a potential fault. Poor Bill Turnbull asked at one point, “But some of these cars will have changed hands by now. How will the manufacturer trace the owners.” and with the air of a woman who has no clue, she replied “I suppose the DVLA will pass the details to them.” Yes, because the UK government is in the habit of passing personal data to corporate bodies when they f*ck up. Ms. McGovern and I had words that morning.

But this morning she took her place on the sofa. And had the good sense to wear trousers.

Louise Minchin has spent her professional career in broadcasting and still insists on sitting on a couch in skirts which come to just above the knee. I simply can’t watch. Of course she knows the camera is trained on her knees. And they have yet to alter the angle. Ms. McGovern was still hazy on the principles of journalism, but at least I could look at the screen to check the time without feeling like a peeping tom.

Anyway, I need to put the finishing touches to my latest letter of complaint to Radio Times.

Dear RT,

Yet again you have ignored my perfectly reasonable request to print listings for the +1 channels.



Channel 4 Have replied

Dear Catnip,

Thank you for your email regarding CHANNEL 4 NEWS on

Thank you for your comments regarding the 4newswall. We at Channel 4 are always looking to improve our service and your feedback is greatly appreciated.

Your comments and criticisms have been logged and will be passed on to the web team.

If you require further information, feel free to email me back
So I have, To whit
I thought about going back to the BBC. But I’d have to stage an intervention. “BBC, lots of people love you, but you’re hurting yourself and those who care about you. Please stop” but you have at least taken the time to cut and paste a couple of templates for ‘Talking to the crazies’. It is also what I do, in ******* **********,  to earn a crust. When I pressed send on those comments, I bitterly regretted it. Not because I can’t turn the odd phrase, or that there’s so much horror in the world which such an old idea as GIFs traduces, but because someone has to wade through gibberish like mine and the ‘creatives’ will be unseen somewhere smearing each other in tapenade.

Peace out ****. The job you do may be relatively unregarded by 99.9%, but you do it, and I for one are am grateful. (No, no cynicism, or snickering behind the hand, this is 0.1% saying have a good day.)


ps as you may have gathered from the dubious idiom, I am a middle aged man with too much time on his hands.

pps No really, have a good day.

Dear Channel 4 (my letter of complaint about their “newswall” )

Whilst I am sure the creative team responsible hugged each other for a very long time at the idea, the “4newswall” is symptomatic of the rise of banality. Are there any actual journalists left at the organisation? Actually, there probably are, and they meet in a pub after work and roll their eyes at working for an organisation so thoroughly bereft of self respect that it stoops to this. We all remember the “News Bunny” on L!ve TV. Some of us think it was a bad idea. Apparently there are some people who think it was genius. And they work for you. The new ident reminds people that you are a public service broadcaster. (See? the dog drinking the tea works) but this odious mind fart stinks and fogs up the windows of your credibility. Time to stop sploshing about in the shallow end. Send the General Studies kids back to Media City in Salford where they can present the business news. Yeah, I said it. I’m almost ashamed to use the words out loud, but that’s how bad this bald dog of a conniption is, it is what the BBC do at Breakfast. And you did it on purpose. For shame. Apart from that big fan of Tattoo Fixers. Top notch.